His lips are moving.


Seriously, if Microsoft was the Republican Party, Paul Thurrott would be Fox News Channel.
Some people are constitutionally incapable of shutting the fuck up no matter how many times and how thoroughly they’re proven wrong, some people incessantly insist that they were taken out of context when they’re called out, and some people are just pathological liars that deliberately construct every sentence to be as misleading as possible. Paul Thurrott, in my opinion, is three for three.
On top of that, he has this odd mix of gung ho patsy and outright stupid that sometimes makes it difficult to tell when he’s lying and when he really has no idea what he’s saying.
This guy has bothered me for years with his total and utter disregard for journalistic quality, instead often opting to resort to hearsay, weasel words, the statistics that most favor his opinion, and anything that makes Apple and Linux look tiny or irrelevant.
Just a few of the lies and contradictions he’s been unable to escape (in order of how they amuse me):
(Windows Me in Thurrottland) “It is, quite possibly, the most under-hyped version of Windows ever created…It’s easy to ridicule Microsoft for milking the Windows 9x cash cow yet again. But the reality is that this release is exceptional.”
(2007 in Thurrottland) Tries bashing Firefox 2 and gets called out by Asa Dotzler
(2008 in reality) Gives up and writes a positive review of Firefox 3 but insists his abortive attack from the year before was “misconstrued”, goes on to list a few trivial gimmicky features IE 8 has that Firefox doesn’t. (Thurrott, you don’t want to go into feature comparisons between IE and Firefox, it can’t end well for IE)
(2004 in Thurrotland) Like zOMG!!!!1111 MSN Music is gonna be HUGE!
(2006 in reality) MSN Music is shutting down and your licensed files are toast if anything happens to Windows. (Such as upgrading XP to Vista or a slightly less devastating catastrophe like a hard disk crash.)
(2002 in Thurrottland) Like zOMG!!!!1111 Windows Media Audio is the second coming!
(2007 in reality) Finally forced to eat crow and admit that WMA is dead, and everybody uses MP3.
BONUS:
“AAC doesn’t play nice with products made by Microsoft and its partners. AAC isn’t compatible with Windows Media Player or Media Center” -Thurrott, October 2007
“Put simply, I am a fan of the Zune…The online marketplace is good, but not as good as iTunes Store, though that matters less with music because MP3/AAC is universally compatible.” -Thurrott, July 2009 (Note that Zune supported AAC in 2007 when he made the first post)
And just for an added face palm:
“..there are audiophiles and technology trolls out there who might recommend [lossless formats]…Don’t be confused by the term “lossless,” however: These formats are still compressed…This is a foolhardy idea, unless you will never use a portable media device or enjoy the thought of storing and managing two copies of your music collection, one in lossless and one in another format that’s been transcoded from the lossless masters.” – Thurrott, October 2007
I don’t suppose he bothered to mention that you can decompress lossless files back into WAV or onto another CD and the CRC checksums will even match the original disc! Or perhaps that both Windows Media Player and iTunes can transcode from your lossless library on the fly and put the resulting lossy files on your device? This isn’t new folks, they’ve both been able to do this since at least 2003-2004.
In a survey conducted last fall, IDC’s Kevorkian said only 4.8% of those with a portable media player reported having a Zune, while 61% had some sort of iPod.
So, in late 2008, the Zune actually had 50 percent more usage share in the MP3 player market than the Mac did in the worldwide PC market. (Hey, math can be fun.)
Of course it is, especially when it’s wrong/fake/conjured up with the rest of his delusions.
While we’re comparing apples and bowling balls, Mac rounded out the fourth quarter of 2008 with 8.87% of the desktop computer market (nearly double the market share of the Zune in the MP3 player market), and the Mac has gone on to 9.81% as of May of 2009. *source*
Mac and Linux have driven Windows down to an 87.75% market share, which is still a commanding lead, but in 2004 they had 96.34% *source*. While Windows isn’t dying off as fast as Microsoft’s other products (Read: Dropping like a brick), it *is* shrinking, and it should worry any investor when a company cannot at least break even year-over-year.
Mr. Thurrott, since IDG has Kevorkian on hand, can they possibly put the Zune under? It can be so quick and painless… No reason to punish the people that unwittingly put Microsoft in their 401(k) for another 2 years.
This of course brings me to today’s Paul Thurrott crap.
Thurrott slanders anything that competes with Microsoft, but seems to go out of his way to bash Apple. Now Opera is on his vendetta list since they won freedom of choice for European consumers to decide what browser they want with Windows 7.
The fact that he is bashing the browser with the most strict adherence to World Wide Web Consortium markup standards should not be overlooked, because Thurrott has a history of bashing industry standards like AAC while promoting Microsoft’s dead end (WMA).
His tirade is, essentially “Well, uhhhm, Internet Explorer has 66% of the browser market, so it should call all the shots”. (It had 92% at the end of 2004 *source* )
Now, Mr. Thurrott has been gay for Internet Explorer for a long long time, and has stood faithfully by it despite several hundred security flaws, the fact that its rendering engine is prehistoric and buggy, and that you can’t extend it with anything but toolbars (oh do we know about IE toolbars…). (Although I have my doubts about whether or not even Thurrott could stomach any version of IE for longer than it takes to glaze over some Microsoft PR notes and grab a few screen shots)
To be dramatic, Paul Thurrott kind of reminds me of that episode of South Park “AhhhH!!! My baby is killing again! Don’t worry, mommy will protect you! I have such a good boy, such a nice boy…”, but there’s only so many bodies you can hide in the backyard and IE is a fuck up that people witness first hand from day one, so there’s really no point in even trying to defend it.
Apparently Thurrott has his panties in a twist this time because he can’t stand that the European Union, unlike the United States, actually has and enforces consumer protection laws. (And it will be interesting to see how the eradication of IE bundling in the Euro Zone affects the spread of spyware over there…)
Thurrott argues, plainly, that users should not be presented with a choice of what browser to use, that IE should remain welded onto Windows, inseparable and popping up even when you thought you hid the fucking thing, and that naive users should continue using what’s there and getting their system deluged with porn dialers, trojans, search page hijackings, and every kind of web annoyance and active content abuse that Adblock Plus for Firefox (or an ad blocking file loaded into Opera’s content blocker) can silence once and for all.
Paul Thurrott remains as pro-Microsoft and anti-user as ever. One could only assume that his yellow journalism is the kind that only Microsoft Monopoly Money could afford.





